1. |
Millennium Baby
03:45
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Millennium Baby
SUITOR: I really wanna marry your daughter,
I’m asking for the hand of your daughter.
I’m really so in love with your daughter,
Want to make her mine.
Oh, I want to settle down with your daughter,
Would you like to see the ring that I bought her?
I want to make a life with your daughter,
Want to make her mine.
Oh I know that you and I have been good friends since school,I hope you know I’d never take you for a fool. The twenty-year age gap will be on your mind, But I only want to treat her right and make her mine.
FATHER: Well, I know that you’re in love with my daughter, but there’s really one thing I should have warned you, that if you go and marry my daughter, then it could be a crime.
Do you remember that night back in 99? You, me, Mickey and my future wife. All scared stiff by the millennium bug, we made a lot of love on that sheepskin rug.
SUITOR: So, if I’ve made love to your daughter, well then I could have made love to my daughter? Thank God I’ve not been making love to your daughter ‘cause that could be a crime.
Yes, I remember on the eve of the millennium, all of us engaging in consensual fun. You, me, mickey and your future wife,
TOGETHER: And the more I think about it she’s got Mickey’s eyes.
Mickeys Eyes, Mickeys Eyes!
SUITOR: So, then I’ve not been making love to my daughter,
FATHER: You said you’d not been making love to my daughter,
TOGETHER: Your daughter, whose daughter?
SUITOR: Well then, I’ve not been making love to my daughter, ‘cause she’s Mickey’s not mine, and that’s not a crime.
FATHER: Did you forget that Mickey’s you brother?
SUITOR: No, he’s a brother to a different mother,
FATHER: Whose Mother?
SUITOR: His Mother.
FATHER: Your Mother
SUITOR: Step Mother.
FATHER: And do you share a biological father?
SUITOR: No, we’ve got different dads,
FATHER: Well, that’s not so bad.
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2. |
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Canadians In Space (Origins)
CHRIS HADFIELD: “There is no problem so bad, that you can’t make it worse. Your either gonna be floating effortlessly, gloriously in space…or you’ll be dead”.
On the 5th day of October back in 1984 we were in the playground, you were counting down to launch.
Round and round the roundabout, the centrifugal force, made us feel like space cadets, but you were astronauts.
Canadians In Space
The dinner lady rang the bell and we went rushing in,
to lumpy mashed potatoes and pink custard with a skin.
We imagined you’d be tucking in to powdered chocolate treats,
Star bars, Mars Bars, Milky Ways and lots of Galaxies.
Canadians In Space
Canadians In Space
Back to the present day and comparisons are made, between the band who come from Barnsley and the ones who went to space.
Bursting through the stratosphere, a meteoric rise, giving it full throttle, the stars are in our sights.
We’re the Canadians In Space
We’re the Canadians In Space
We’re the Canadians In Space
We’ve never been to space or Canada
LEE: I’m the moody genius,
ADAM: And I’m the sex appeal.
LEE: I’m the Starship Enterprise,
ADAM: and I’m the steering wheel.
ADAM: I’m the one they come to see.
LEE: I’m not quite sure that’s true!
ADAM: They tell me I’m their favorite one.
LEE: Well, I’ve got news for you…
LEE: They call you Baldy!
ADAM: Not to my face!
LEE: They call you peeping Tom .
ADAM: That was just a mistake!
LEE: They call you childish.
ADAM: I’m telling mi mam!
LEE: They call you needle dick!
ADAM: She just had big hands!
ADAM: They call you Beardy, Fat Lad!
LEE: Is that all that you’ve got?
ADAM: Lazy Bones, Mardy-Pants.
LEE: Well, except that I’m not.
ADAM: Teachers Pet, Dog Breath,
LEE: You’re; Juvenile, infantile, full of it!
I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?
[Sub Mission Control: Canadians, this is Royston, do you read me over?
Canadians In Space: Royston, we have a problem! There’s sommat not reight wi’ this Rocket. Royston, you reciving? Royston, rocket’s not reight! Royston! We’re not ready! We’re not ready Royston! There’s sommat wrong wi’ Rocket!]
We’re the Canadians In Space
We’re the Canadians In Space
We’re the Canadians In Space
Not the Canadians who went to space
We’re the Canadians In Space
We’re the Canadians In Space
We’ve never been to space or Canada.
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3. |
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Touch My Balls
Touch my balls, don’t touch my balls
Touch my balls, don’t touch my balls
Touch my balls, don’t touch my balls
Touch my balls, don’t touch my balls
I’m a tennis player, I get suppositious, don’t you touch my balls, it’s against my wishes.
If I’m out in front or coming from behind; keep your fingers off.
Ring my bell, don’t ring my bell.
Ring my bell, don’t ring my bell.
Ring my bell, don’t ring my bell.
Ring my bell, don’t ring my bell.
If I’ve been on nights and you’ve got a parcel, don’t you ring my bell, don’t you be an asshole. My special place is behind the bins or my neighbour’s house.
Spank my ass, don’t spank my ass.
Spank my ass, don’t spank my ass.
Spank my ass, don’t spank my ass.
Spank my ass, don’t spank my ass.
He’s a seaside donkey who’s been overridden, don’t you spank my ass ‘cause he’s not forgiven, and he’s not forgotten all the giddy-ups; keep your hands to yourself.
Pull me off, don’t pull me off.
Pull me off, don’t pull me off.
Pull me off, don’t pull me off.
Pull me off, don’t pull me off.
If I’m in a fight and the fists are flying, don’t you pull me off, even if I’m crying. I’m so determined not to be defeated – I’m hanging tough!
Touch my balls, don’t touch my balls.
Touch my balls, don’t touch my balls.
Touch my balls, don’t touch my balls.
Touch my balls, don’t touch my balls.
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4. |
Fruit Salad
04:04
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Fruit Salad
Right ok, it’s time to dance like fruits. Right ok, it’s time to dance like fruits.
We were cruising through the beach bar like a knife cuts through a kiwi. I was wearing Speedos, you were wearing my Mankini.
She was like a trifle, if a trifle was had no jelly; all sponge and cream, if you know what I mean?
We offered her a cocktail, Martini or Bellini, she said she’d never tried one, and asked for something creamy.
I said “Brandy Alexander” she said
“No, my name is Sherry. Sherry as in trifle maybe you could be my jelly baby?”
We walked along the seafront, but something wasn’t right.
We knew what we were missing to complement our night.
Fruit Salad!
So, we went back to the Beach Bar with our sights set on a trifle, looked around the dancefloor, it was clear there was a pie full of; peach, banana, cherry, pear, pineapple peach and mango and tangerine, if you know what I mean?
We stated our intentions, and much to our amazement, a conga line of juicy fruits spilled out onto the pavement.
Fruit Salad! Fruit Salad!
Right, ok it’s time to dance like fruits? I’m gonna name a fruit and you’re gonna dance like it. Are you ready?
Ok, so you’re a tangerine - dance out of your skin.
You’re a nice ripe banana - slide across the floor.
Don’t be shy, you’re a coconut – break out of your shell.
You’re tin of peaches - Shake it up some more.
You’re a pound of Apples - dance around you bag.
You’re a fresh pineapple – roll around the floor.
Don’t be bitter, you’re a lemon wedge – we can squeeze you in.
In our Fruit Salad.
Ok Boys and Girls, it’s time to get juicy.
Get out your skin and jump around, jump around.
Can I get a citrus? Yeah!
We’re ripe on time, oh we’re ripe on time.
And I wanna see some peel, I wanna see some sexy peel.
Bunch together, let’s have you.
A tangerine - dance out of your skin.
Banana - slide across the floor.
Coconut – break out of your shell.
Tin of peaches - Shake it up some more.
A bag of apples - dance around you bag.
A pineapple – roll around the floor.
And a lemon wedge – we can squeeze you in.
We’ve got a trifle. – We’ve got lots of room, in our Fruit Salad.
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5. |
Granny Magnet
03:11
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Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet.
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
The Nanarchists go wild,
He’s honey to the Granny Bees.
Curry to the Nans,
Mushy-mushy OAPs.
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet
Ethel at the church,
Beryl at the chip shop,
Edith on the bus,
Fanny in the Morrisons.
Big shop, big smile, coming down the cheese aisle.
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet
Reenie on the roof,
Wendy at the window,
Doris at the door
Olive in the Ottoman.
Ottoman, ottoman, never seen a hotter man!
Ottoman, ottoman, she’s never seen a hotter man!
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
He’s a Granny Magnet, He’s a Granny Magnet
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6. |
No Filter
04:25
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No Filter
WIDOWER: Nobody said it was gonna be easy, she’s been dead for a while, we had 50 good years.
My wife, my friend and my badminton partner, the queen my court, the love of my life.
There will be nobody else…
There could be nobody else …
FRIEND: I hate to see you cry but you’ve still got to live life.
I know you’re broken now but trust me you’ll find love given time.
I know you think it’s all over,
but I’ve got something that I think you’d like to see.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying it’s easy, but your wife would want you to move with your life.
Come down with me to the internet café, I can teach to the ropes show you some sites.
WIDOWER: There will be nobody else.
FRIEND: You might be surprised.
WIDOWER: There could never be somebody else.
FRIEND: Just give it a try.
The first thing you should do is put your details online.
No matter what your age or peccadillo they’ll help you find the people matching your profile.
The next phase of your life is just a click away.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying it’s easy, but I’ve shown you the ropes now you know what to do.
So, put in your likes your dislikes and your interests but try to be brave and maybe try something new.
And it could open up your mind
It could open up your mind.
WIDOWER: I’ve taken your advice and written down what I seek.
They’ll need a sense of humour, sporting prowess and their own teeth.
As for the rest of the filters, I switched them all to off, and much to my surprise…
I’m going on a date with a lady-body builder,
And I’ve been on a date with a man from Japan
I’m off on date with lady lorry driver
And I’ve been on a date with a lady masseuse
And it’s opened up my mind
Yeah it’s opened up my mind
FRIEND: I have to say my friend you’ve got a spring in your step, since you have opened your mind and you have widened the net, you’ve got a new lease of life.
I’m glad you’re moving on let’s meet up for a pint!
WIDOWER: I would but…
I’m going for a meal with gender neutral Sargent
Then I’m off on a date with a man in a mask
I’m going for a drive with a lady car mechanic.
Got a trip on a boat with a lady from Hull.
I’ve been painting the town with a lady decorator.
I’ve been oiled up and whipped by a Michelin Chef.
Netflix and chill with the sweetest diabetic
Had a deep conversation with lady masseuse.
WIDOWER: And now I think I’ve found the one,
FRIEND: And it’s all thanks me!
WIDOWER: Who picks me up when I am down,
FRIEND: I got you back on your feet
FRIEND: And helped you turn your life around
WIDOWER: I’ve had the time of my life
FRIEND: I picked you up when you were down
WIDOWER: I think I’ve found myself a wife.
WIDOWER: I’ve fallen love with a lady body builder.
With a good sense of humour and her own set of teeth.
FRIEND: I’ve been dressing up as a lady bodybuilder
With a good sense of humour and a
set of false teeth; oh, dear me.
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7. |
Sheila's Got The Monk On
02:56
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Sheila’s got the Monk On
Baby, tell me why you’re feeling so blue.
Baby, tell me why you’re feeling so blue.
There must be something I can do,
To stop you from feeling so blue.
Baby, tell me what’s making you cry.
Baby, tell me what’s making you cry.
Is there an eyelash your eye, baby that’s making you cry?
Baby, tell me why you’re treatin’ me mean.
Baby, tell me why you’re treatin’ me mean.
Is it the company I keep?
Leaving the seat down when I wee?
Over sugaring your tea?
Or my Google history?
Baby tell me please, tell me why you’re treatin’ me mean!
Baby, tell me what’s Irking you so.
Baby, tell me what’s Irking you so.
Is it because I shrunk your clothes?
Is it because I stretched your pants?
Is it because burnt your toast and your brother’s caravan?
Baby, tell me please, tell me what’s Irking you so!
Baby, tell me what’s getting your goat.
Baby, tell me what’s getting your goat.
Is it because I kissed your friend?
Is it because I kissed your Mum?
Is it because I kissed your Dad?
Is it because he kissed me back?
Is it because I killed the dog?
is it because I killed the cat?
Is it because I killed your Mum for cheating on your Dad?
Is it because I killed your Dad because he cheated on your Mum?
Is it because I killed your friend because she saw me kill Your Mum and Dad and Cat and Dog and torch your brother’s caravan?
Baby tell me what’s making you blue.
She’s got the monk on, Sheila’s got the monk on.
Oh Baby what’s making you so blue?
She’s got the monk on, Sheila’s got the monk on.
There must be something I can do,
Baby what’s making you blue.
She’s got the monk on, Sheila’s got the monk on.
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8. |
Be My Ghost
04:48
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Be My Ghost
HUBBY: I’m on top of the ladder,
Putting up the Christmas lights,
If I fall from here, there’s a chance that I will not survive,
If I’m lucky, I might be comatose,
But if I die this way and I become a ghost…
I will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I will haunt you for the rest of your God damn life.
WIFEY: I’m always in your shadow, sacrificing everything,
I’ve given you children; you know I’ve been a textbook wife.
And if you should fall to your certain death, I’ll be in heaven with your life insurance cheque.
So, if you haunt me for the rest of my life,
You’ll have to see me buy the things you’d never let me buy.
If you haunt me for the rest of my life, I will wave bye-bye and buy myself a damn good life.
HUBBY: That life insurance, I redeemed my policy, when we went to Disney Land, what a waste of money.
The flights were atrocious, the kids got chicken pox, you won’t see a penny, go ahead and wish me gone…
I will haunt you for the rest of your life.
So, forget about the things you said you’d buy.
And I will haunt you for the rest of your life.
Yes I will haunt you for the rest of your God damn life.
TOGETHER: Life’s too short, to do each other’s heads in.
Life’s too short to piss each other off.
Life’s too short, you’d better get your act together.
Because the concept of an afterlife is only a distraction.
WIFEY: You’re on top of the ladder,
You’re not very good with heights.
If you fall from here, I could lead a better life.
I love somebody, who reminds me of you, except much better, so be my ghost and you… Can
Haunt me for the rest of my life,
Cause if you haunt me for the rest of my life,
You’ll have to watch your brother sleep with your wife.
Come on haunt me for the rest of my damn good life.
HUBBY: So, if I haunt you for the rest of your life,
I’ll have to watch my brother sleep with my god damn wife.
WIFEY: Yes, if you haunt me for the rest of my life,
You’ll have to watch your brother take me from behind.
HUBBY: So if I haunt you for the rest of your life
I’ll have to watch you do it doggy style from the other side?
WIFEY: Yes if you haunt me for the rest of my life
You’ll have to see the things you’d never see if you were still alive.
TOGETHER: So, let’s forget about the afterlife, ‘cause life’s too short
WIFEY: just like you.
TOGETHER: Lets switch on those Christmas lights.
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9. |
Never Let Me Down
03:44
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Never let you down
INFLATABLE COMPANION: Baby I’m lonely, I just need you to hold me, ‘cause I’m falling apart at the seams. It’s like the air that I need is being squeezed out of me, I’m like a lilo washed up on the beach. You said you’d never let me down, never let me down.
SAVIOUR: You could say it was fate or just an admin mistake, but the day you arrived in my life, you were carefully packed and I’d begun to unwrap before I noticed that you were not mine. I wish I’d never let you down, never let you down. I wish I’d never let you down, never let you down.
I let you down gently or that’s what you thought, the postman had made a mistake.
INFLATABLE COMPANION: I was deflated and folded in two, you returned me to sender, what a thing to do!
SAVIOUR: I had a moment of panic, but as I understand it you were deemed unsolicited goods.
INFLATABLE COMPANION: But there’s no legal requirement to return a consignment, delivered in error to you. You said you never let me down, never let me down. You said you never let me down, never let me down.
SAVIOUR: I regret my reaction, I’m on my way, I‘m hoping that I’ll track you down.
INFLATABLE COMPANION: I’m here in the depot alone in the dark we can be reunited, make a brand-new start.
Never, never let me down.
Never, never let you down.
INFLATABLE COMPANION: There’s infrared sensors and barbed wire fences a security guard and the dog, the odds aren’t in favour of you as my savoir.
SAVIOUR: I don’t give a monkey’s, I’m as brave as a Mongoose! And now we’re happy together, I wonder if ever, they’ll catch me for breaking the law. I hope that you were impressed.
INFLATABLE COMPANION: Yes ,I was very impressed with how you wrestled the guard to the floor.
INFLATABLE COMPANION: Now say you’ll never let me down.
SAVIOUR: I’ll never let you down.
INFLATABLE COMPANION: Say you’ll never let me down.
SAVIOUR: I’ll never let you down. I scaled a wall for you, I cut through a fence for you, I wrestled a guard for you, I got bit by a dog for you.
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10. |
Haiku
04:26
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Haiku
JUDGE: I am unimpressed by your lack of remorse. You will serve a minimum sentence of six years imprisonment. I suggest that you use this time to reflect.
CONVICT: I lost my job, then I lost my home, I lost my wife to a rolling stone, I had no place left to run; held up a chippy with a starting gun.I got a 6 year stretch, the judge was unimpressed saying I should use the time to reflect.
JUDGE: To this end, you will be enrolled on the prison’s educational programme. This will provide you with the skills you need to unlock your protentional, and become an asset to your community, upon your release.
STEVE: Hi, my name is Steve, I'm a prison lecturer, I’m here on Tuesdays and my passion’s poetry, take a class with me, reading, writing, maybe GCSEs.
I’m on a one-man mission to enrich your mind, with Shelley, Byron, Wordsworth and Keats.
But let’s start with a Haiku.
CONVICT: What the hell is a haiku...?
STEVE: We’re gonna start with a Haiku.
CONVICT: What the hell is a haiku...?
STEVE: It’s a type of verse,
It started out in Japan,
I think you'll like it if you give it chance.
CONVICT:
But I never went to school,
Why don't you show me…
STEVE: I'll explain the rules,
It's seventeen syllables,
Split 5 -7- 5
CONVICT: I really could get into this…
Haiku, learning to
Haiku, haiku, I'm learning,
To haiku with you.
CONVICT: I sent a poem,
To my former wife, Michelle,
It was a haiku,
I've got you to thank,
For another 18 months,
I'm in the sweat box.
STEVE: Tell me what you've done.
The power of the haiku, must be used for good. Why don’t you tell me what you sent.
CONVICT: There was an ex-wife called Michelle,
Whose lover can go right to hell,
I'll chop off his bits,
Feed his balls to the ducks,
And you can get lost as well,
Michelle.
STEVE: Haiku, you know that wasn’t a haiku.
CONVICT: Haiku, what the hell is a haiku?
STEVE: Haiku, I thought I taught you to Haiku?
CONVICT: Haiku, I wasn’t listening to you
STEVE: Haiku
CONVICT: Bless you
STEVE: Haiku
CONVICT: Tissue
STEVE: Haiku
CONVICT: You Coo?
STEVE: Haiku
CONVICT: They Coo?
STEVE: Haiku
CONVICT: We Coo?
TOGETHER: Haiku, let’s try again with the Haiku
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11. |
Grave Robbin'
03:17
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Grave Robbin’
CLAIRVOYANTE: Well, I was nearly sick in my mouth, when he told me about what you’d done to his Grandad.
GRAVE ROBIN: I was only taking him out.
CLAIRVOYANTE: Well, you shouldn’t have done, he’d been dead for the past six months.
GRAVE ROBIN: It wasn’t an easy task, removing the earth from his Grandad’s casket.
CLAIRVOYANTE: I know you meant it well, but if you dig up graves, they send you straight to hell.
Grave robbing, grave, grave robbing, you’re not gonna find what you need a coffin. Grave robbing, grave, grave robbing…
CLAIRVOYANTE: I’d love to move on but there’s something I must know.
CLAIRVOYANTE: He was somewhat taken aback, when you tried CPR on the corpse of his Grandma.
GRAVE ROBIN: There were bits all over my mouth and when I pressed on her chest it was like a Piñata. It’d never crossed my mind that after six months I could never revive her.
CLAIRVOYANTE: Their death was not your fault, but now you’ve crossed a line you could be facing time.
Grave robbing, grave, grave robbing, he just couldn’t stop when he popped the first coffin.
Grave robbing, grave, grave robbing…
CLAIRVOYANTE: You’re out of control, he’s got nothing more to say!
Is there anybody there?
Is there anybody there?
Is there anybody there?
Is there anybody there?
CLAIRVOYANTE: He almost turned in his grave, at the sound of your spade on the lid of his coffin.
GRAVE ROBIN: I was only digging him up, so he could have a good time with his Grandma and Grandad.
CLAIRVOYANTE: I think you’ve lost plot, revealing your crime to a TV psychic.
GRAVE ROBIN: The prosecution’s case will be thrown out of court if a ghost is the only credible witness!
Grave robbing, grave, grave robbing
He just couldn’t stop when he popped the first coffin.
Grave robbing, grave, grave robbing.
You’re not gonna find what you need a coffin.
Grave robbing, grave grave robbing.
He just couldn’t stop when he popped the first coffin.
Grave robbing, grave grave robbing….
CLAIRVOYANTE: You’re out of control, I’ve got nothing more to say!
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12. |
Small Talk
04:00
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Small Talk
We were at a function for an older relative.
And, although nobody mentioned it, we both knew he would never live to see another candle on his birthday cake, so we talked around the subject and did our best to make…Small talk, we're making small talk, we talk about the weather and the football scores, doing small talk.
Standing at the bus stop waiting for the 619, when a gentleman beside me, kindly asked me for the time. I rolled up both my sleeves and said I didn't wear a watch, I told him of my eczema, and how watches made me blotchy. Chit chat, we're doing chit chat, we talk about our skin complaints and how it makes us laugh, so politely.
Oh, what do you know? They say it might snow, but it doesn’t feel cold enough. I know, it doesn’t feel cold, cold enough to snow,
you know, you can’t trust the forecast.
We were in a Taxi, and you made me ride up front, because in the previous taxi the taxi driver was offensive. But this one was quite nice, because not all of them are bad, and he told us of his stories and the famous fares he’d had.
He’s telling tall tales, telling tall tales, it started out as chit-chat, but I’m ok with that. We’re back to small talk he’s making to small talk, no subject to divide us, just the football scores, doing ball talk.
Oh, what do you know? They say it might snow, but it doesn’t feel cold enough. I know, it doesn’t feel cold, cold enough to snow,
you know, you can’t trust the forecast.
I went to the Liddle to do some shopping for mi mam, I took it to the checkout for the Liddle man to scan, but he talked about the universe and how we fitted in, I listened for a moment and then I said to him…
“let’s just do small talk, if at all talk, lets talk about the weather and the football scores. Small talk, if at all talk, lets talk about the weather and the football scores”.
Small talk, small talk. No Ancient Greek philosophy; just the football scores.
Small talk, small talk. No Right-Wing led conspiracies; let’s keep the subject light.
Small talk, small talk. No partial views on Politics; they say it’s gonna snow.
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13. |
Birthday Boys #chums
04:55
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Birthday Boys #chums
ADAM: It’s your birthday, it’s your 47th birthday, blow out the candles on your cake. Take it easy on your 47th birthday; tell me what you’d like to do.
LEE: I wanna take a ride on a seaside donkey, I wanna feel the rush of the wind in my hair. I wanna get so high like a kite when its windy. I wanna do the things we used to do when we were young, when we were young.
ADAM: Well, I’ve bought you slippers and a Boots’ own brand deodorant, they said its hypo allergenic. So, no more rashes, no more flaky-skin disasters, you can turn that frown upside-down.
LEE: But I wanna ride on a seaside donkey,
I wanna feel the rush of the wind in my hair.
I wanna get so high like a kite when its windy, I wanna do the things we used to do when we were young – when we were young.
LEE: Happy Birthday, happy 42nd birthday, I’ve got a few things up my sleeve. I’ve been planning for your 42nd birthday, so close your eyes and come with me.
ADAM: You know I hate surprises!
LEE: Surprise! It’s a seaside donkey, we’re gonna do the things we used to do when we were young!
ADAM: I never took a ride on a seaside donkey; I never did the things you said we did when we were young, because I’m 5 years younger than you and we didn’t grow up together.
LEE: So, let’s make our own memories, the ones that will last forever.
Why don’t we take a ride on our bikes to the river? We can take a blanket and a flask of tea. We can have such fun as we lay by the river, flicking through the pages of a dirty magazine.
TOGETHER: We’re gonna take a ride on our bikes to the river, we can take a blanket and a flask of tea. We can have such fun as we lay by the river, flicking through the pages of a dirty magazine.
And now we’re making memories: #chums
Now we’re making memories # pals.
Trending on our Instagram: #friends.
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Canadians In Space Barnsley, UK
Canadians In Space are from South Yorkshire and have never been to Canada.
They are a
songwriting duo-cum-trio-when-live and perform mildly amusing songs.
They journey through space and time (mostly time) rediscovering their imagined shared past in a village neither grew up in.
If you love music and comedy then you are guaranteed 50% satisfaction.
... more
Canadians In Space recommends:
Place Of Spades (2019)
by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican
The Bar-Stewards Sons of Val Doonican are proof that there's Surely "sommat in't watter"in Barnsley! Brilliant stuff!
go to album
Pocketful O'Nowt
by Pocketful O'Nowt
Absolute poetry delivered in a custard pie. These madcap guys are nothing short of genius!
go to album
Times like These
by Stellavision
Well-crafted and excellently performed songs!
go to albumIf you like Canadians In Space, you may also like:
Your Evening Of Folk Has Been Cancelled (2022)
by Scott Doonican
supported by 11 fans who also own “SUBMISSION”
Scott sings the Doonicans with an HMHB parody sleeve. What;s not to love?
go to album
Only us, Keith Richards and cockroaches left (2020)
by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican
supported by 10 fans who also own “SUBMISSION”
go to album
Speakeasy - Live 2016
by John Robins
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans.
go to album
