1. |
DARREN CHRISTMAS DAY
00:52
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Darren Day, Darren Day
Darren Day, Darren Day
Darren Day, Darren Christmas Day
Darren Day, Darren Day
Darren Day, Darren Day
Darren Day, Darren Christmas Day
Darren Day
Darren Day
Darren Da ay ay
Darren Day
Darren Day
Darren Chrisy-mas Day
Darren Day, Darren Day
Darren Day, Darren Day
Darren Day, Darren Christmas Day.
Darren Day, Darren Day
Darren Day, Darren Day
Darren Day, Darren Christmas Day
Darren Day
Darren Day
Darren Da ay ay
Darren Day
Darren Day
Darren Chrissy-mas Day
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2. |
SANTA BANTER EP 1
01:15
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3. |
BE MY EX-MAS GHOST
04:46
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HUSBAND: I’m on top of the ladder,
I’m putting up the Christmas Lights.
If I fall from here, there’s a chance that I will not survive,
If I’m lucky, I might be comatose,
But if I die this way and I become a ghost…
I will haunt you for the rest of your life
I will haunt you for the rest of your life
I will haunt you for the rest of your life
I will haunt you for the rest of your God damn life
WIFE: I’m always in your shadow,
Sacrificing everything,
I’ve given you children; you know I’ve been a textbook wife
And if you should fall to your certain death,
I’ll be in heaven with your life insurance cheque.
So, if you haunt me for the rest of my life,
You’ll have to see me buy the things you’d never let me buy
And if you haunt me for the rest of my life,
I will wave goodbye and buy myself a damn good life.
HUSBAND: That life insurance, I redeemed my policy
When we went to Disney Land.
What a waste of money,
The flight was atrocious,
The kids got chicken pox,
So, you won’t see a penny,
Go ahead and wish me gone…
I will haunt you for the rest of your life.
So, forget about all the things you said you’d buy.
I will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I will haunt you for the rest of your God damn life.
Bridge
TOGETHER: Life’s too short, to do each other’s heads in.
Life’s too short to piss each other off.
Life’s too short, you’d better get your act together.
The concept of an afterlife is only a distraction.
WIFE: You’re on top of the ladder,
You’re not very good with heights.
If you fall from here, I could lead a better life.
I love somebody, who reminds me of you, except much better, so be my ghost and you… Can
Haunt me for the rest of my life,
Cause if you haunt me for the rest of my life,
You’ll have to watch your brother sleep with your wife.
Go on haunt me for the rest of my damn good life.
HUSBAND: So, if I haunt you for the rest of your life,
I’ll have to watch my brother sleep with my god damn wife.
WIFE: Yes, if you haunt me for the rest of my life,
You’ll have to watch your brother take me from behind.
HUSBAND: So, if I haunt you for the rest of your life
I’ll have to watch you do it doggy style from the other side?
WIFE: Yes, if you haunt me for the rest of my life
You’ll have to see the things you’d never see if you were still alive.
TOGETHER: So, let’s forget about the afterlife,
life’s too short (just like you)
Switch on those Christmas lights.
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4. |
SANTA BANTER EP 2
02:06
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5. |
CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN
03:49
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Christmas time is here again, but it won't last long
Put aside reality and sing along
The nights are long, the days are cold, you're like a snowman in a globe; you're upside down, your world spinning round.
The office christmas party is the same each year
A sausage roll, a furtive glance and no atmosphere
Putting up with sexist banter, disappointment; Secret Santa's mixed up again, you got your own pen
Your nose is a carrot, you've got two lumps of coal for eyes
The fate of the snowman is the tale of every christmas time
The shops are a nightmare and the queues are a mile long
Stuck in an elevator listening to this song
Christmas time is here but it could be your last
So cheer up now and sing along and raise a glass
Here's to family, here's to friends and here's to falling out again,
But it won't last long, no it won't last long.
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6. |
SANTA BANTER EP 3
00:58
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7. |
PEACE & GRAVY
04:24
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Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright.
This year has been shit, so
Roll on with the shit show.
Climbing up the loft for a plastic tree,
A box of broken baubles where you've put your knees.
The loft isn't boarded, where you thought it was boarded.
Making sure to step where the beams should be,
With a box of broken baubles and a Christmas tree
And oh, oh the frustration of loft insulation,
Now you're coming through the ceiling like a Santa clause
Stepping into Christmas through the plasterboards.
Joy to the world,
You want peace on Earth,
Not peas and gravy,
Fighting over roast potatoes,
Seeking shelter when the wind blows.
The dust, like a snow scene, is settling slowly
Falling by the light of the bedside lamp,
There's an aching in your balls, and your foot's got cramp.
Your Mum to the rescue, she comes into the bedroom,
Tugging at your trousers with all her might,
There's a choir at the door sining Silent night.
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright.
Assistance is futile and after a short while,
She's running down the stairs shouting
"Please help me! My son is nearly 50 and a divorcee"
The choir, delighted, to be invited
To pull the lower half of a middle aged bloke,
Now you're feeling like a cracker and the cracker joke.
Joy to the world,
You want peace on Earth,
Not peas and gravy,
Fighting over roast potatoes,
Seeking shelter when the wind blows.
In all the commotion, the front door's left open,
Every single neighbour in the street comes round
To wish you merry Christmas as your pants fall down.
Joy to the world,
You want peace on Earth,
Not peas and gravy,
Fighting over roast potatoes,
Seeking shelter when the wind blows
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Canadians In Space Barnsley, UK
Canadians In Space are from South Yorkshire and have never been to Canada.
They are a
songwriting duo-cum-trio-when-live and perform mildly amusing songs.
They journey through space and time (mostly time) rediscovering their imagined shared past in a village neither grew up in.
If you love music and comedy then you are guaranteed 50% satisfaction.
... more
Canadians In Space recommends:
Place Of Spades (2019)
by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican
The Bar-Stewards Sons of Val Doonican are proof that there's Surely "sommat in't watter"in Barnsley! Brilliant stuff!
go to album
Pocketful O'Nowt
by Pocketful O'Nowt
Absolute poetry delivered in a custard pie. These madcap guys are nothing short of genius!
go to album
Times like These
by Stellavision
Well-crafted and excellently performed songs!
go to albumIf you like Canadians In Space, you may also like:
Only us, Keith Richards and cockroaches left (2020)
by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican
supported by 9 fans who also own “CANADIN”
go to album
Fairytale of Tarn 2020
by Scott Doonican
supported by 9 fans who also own “CANADIN”
A fairytaleofnewyork-tastic parody by Barnsley's finest Scott Doonican and his effervescent Scottish sidekick Gloria McGlumpher.
go to album
Speakeasy - Live 2016
by John Robins
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans.
go to album
